This script can be taken as a sequel to one of my previous blogs “Getting beheaded…”, since it’s the same emotion that continues here. Please don’t be surprised, because I feel I can write a thesis on this subject now, though it’s just been about 6 months that I’ve started going through this. But I have been practically living this feeling day in and day out for these 6 Months.
While I leisurely scanned through the newspaper this morning, an article by Sonam Kalra is what sparked this emotion again in me, and hence acted as an inspiration to write this piece. She truly pointed out that the moment you step into an age which start with 2, you start getting a pressure from your family to tie the knot and “settle down” (as if Shaadi is the only settling factor left in your life, your career and other things stand absolutely no where). And this pressure gets multiplied manifold, if you happen to be a female.
There are some people who have the nerves to overlook this thrust from their family and peers and have this work their way. Also there is a category of people like me who give away their endurance and tend to give in to this pressure. No, I haven’t got married yet, but despite my unwillingness, I have agreed to step into this vicious process of going about it. One line that really stuck me in Sonam’s article was:
“Making the most important decisions of your life in a hurry, under duress of someone’s constant nagging, could turn out to be a big regret in life. Please remember that the person you’ll marry will have the face you’ll see first thing in the morning, for the rest of your life.”
Decisions such as getting married or starting a family shouldn’t be taken under the social influence (though in 90% of the cases, it happens that ways only). I just can’t seem to understand what sadistic pleasures do the relatives or the neighborhood aunties get by poking their unwanted nose into the lives of the others. From my perspective, they not only irate me by talking stuff about me to my parents or their likes, but they also loose respect that they had built up till now. For God’s sake, stop speculating my wedding date and get a life!! I am sure you have better things to do…
I accept the fact that I have been one of the crowds, picking on my cousins when they were to get married. But now, being into the same shoes, I realize how annoying does it get when you go anywhere and people bombard you with the likes of the same question:
“So when do you plan to get married?” (I plan to elope; you have a problem with that?)
“I feel like wearing new clothes, when do you give us a chance?” (Excuse me, why do I have to put my marital status at stake for it?)
“You are a big girl now, high time you should get hitched” (Is it? Thanks for telling me that. I wouldn’t have realized it ever, if it wasn’t for you…Grrrrrr)
“Are you not seeing anyone? Let me know, I’ll put this forth in front of your parents and make it work!” (Awwww…thanks a ton Aunty, but unfortunately I have the balls to tell my parents about it myself. Don’t need YOUR help for it...huhhh)
Phewwww
I so want to break free from these societal pressures and command my life my own way. But do what may, you’ve still gotta face the above questions with a smile and be at your politest best while answering those question (when even you want to show middle finger to them). Your parents’ ‘izzat’ is at stake…what to do!
Anyways, I do hope of getting away with this as early as possible and hence give a peace of mind to a lot of people around me. Wish me luck!!! :D
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Happy Living!
I read it some where: “The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.”
I completely second the thought. The urban lifestyle today is so full of stress for any average individual, with their minds overextended and put in traction for various factors. People run as fast as they can, in the race of life, to over take their peers. But in this quest to win, that they end up losing their peace of mind, their family bonds, their social life and things like this that ‘money can’t buy’-as MasterCard puts it. :)
So here’s a conscious effort to put together a few things that you could follow to stay happy. Not that I am a pro at it, but these things work for me. So thought of sharing it: it may work for you as well :)
DON’T carry work home: Its very important to give due importance to each of the elements in your life. You work needs you, but so does your family, your kids, your friends, your health, your society. Each of them should get its due, without any bias, to stay satiated.
Child Therapy: For me, its one of the most integral things to follow. You need to be matured and balanced, but sometimes is good to just let out the child in you. Remember the games we used to play when we were young? Get into that mode and do stuff like clay modeling, enjoy the swings in your nearby park, make a doll house, play monopoly, decorate a Christmas tree or any such thing. This really helps you De stress yourself.
Meditate/ Work Out: it’s a universally accepted fact that any sort of meditation helps you calm yourself and put your mind at ease.You can resort to yoga or any other breathing exercises. One can also practice ‘Tabaddur’ (as in Islam) or ‘Simran/ Nam Japo’ (as in Sikhism). Also, I’m not to sure how many people are aware of it, but when we run on a treadmill, our body secretes ‘endorphins’ or the ‘happy hormones’. That’s the reason why you feel so happy and content after a good run on this machine.
Holiday: Take a break from work for a couple of days, choose a destination and hit it with your friends/ family. Try to let go of your ‘schedules’ and your ‘diets’ and your other ‘dos’ and ‘donts’ you otherwise follow, while your are away. Also, don’t forget to keep yourself away from your emails and official phone calls. Taking some time off really helps.
Gleeful Company: Try to spend most of your time, being around people who are happy and high spirited. The company that you stay in, reflects on your mood and temperament. You are more likely feel lively and pleasant, when you be around pleasant, bustling people as opposed to being around perennial whiners.
Pursue a Hobby: Remember, while in school, our summer vacations would give us time to join some hobby classes, learning new things? It may not be as easy a thing to do in today’s fast paced life, but one can always hunt for some weekend/ evening courses. Its never too late to learn a new instrument, or try some new recipes in the kitchen.
Breaking Inhibitions: A lot of times, we tend to let of of things that we really want to do, just coz we are worried about how the people around us would react. We are more bothered about maintaining an image in the eyes of the society. But at times its alright to ‘go with the flow’ and just do it. If you want to speak to a friend, who you had fought with months ago, don’t think twice. Just pick up the phone and call. Don’t let you ego stop you from it. Leave your car behind, pick up a bicycle to fetch stuff from the market. Do anything that makes you happy.
“Trust that little voice in your head that says "Wouldn't it be interesting if….” ; And then do it.”
Pleasure in the little things in life: Watching the train, getting drenched in the rain, writing stuff on a balloon and letting it go in the air, having an orange bar, imli, chuski on a street side, watching the sunrise/ sunset, messing up my hand and face while eating a chocolate…these are some of the little things in life, that can cheer me up at any given point in time. Every has his/her own list like this. Makes yours and follow it.
Follow your heart: Thinking is brain’s core job indeed, but let the heart take over sometimes. Do what you feel like doing, without thinking too much about what may happen as a result of it. Don’t miss out on opportunities coz of your dilemmas. I want to have a chocolate cake, grab a bite. You can increase your daily physical activities a bit to compensate. You want to confess your feelings for a person, just do it. At the max, your feelings would be turned down. But that’s alright. Its still worth it. At least you wont have any regrets when you wake up tomorrow morning.
You don’t have to follow these things all the time. But they can always be resorted to, when you are down and low. They may act as immediate energy boosters for you.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Champagne in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!!
I completely second the thought. The urban lifestyle today is so full of stress for any average individual, with their minds overextended and put in traction for various factors. People run as fast as they can, in the race of life, to over take their peers. But in this quest to win, that they end up losing their peace of mind, their family bonds, their social life and things like this that ‘money can’t buy’-as MasterCard puts it. :)
So here’s a conscious effort to put together a few things that you could follow to stay happy. Not that I am a pro at it, but these things work for me. So thought of sharing it: it may work for you as well :)
DON’T carry work home: Its very important to give due importance to each of the elements in your life. You work needs you, but so does your family, your kids, your friends, your health, your society. Each of them should get its due, without any bias, to stay satiated.
Child Therapy: For me, its one of the most integral things to follow. You need to be matured and balanced, but sometimes is good to just let out the child in you. Remember the games we used to play when we were young? Get into that mode and do stuff like clay modeling, enjoy the swings in your nearby park, make a doll house, play monopoly, decorate a Christmas tree or any such thing. This really helps you De stress yourself.
Meditate/ Work Out: it’s a universally accepted fact that any sort of meditation helps you calm yourself and put your mind at ease.You can resort to yoga or any other breathing exercises. One can also practice ‘Tabaddur’ (as in Islam) or ‘Simran/ Nam Japo’ (as in Sikhism). Also, I’m not to sure how many people are aware of it, but when we run on a treadmill, our body secretes ‘endorphins’ or the ‘happy hormones’. That’s the reason why you feel so happy and content after a good run on this machine.
Holiday: Take a break from work for a couple of days, choose a destination and hit it with your friends/ family. Try to let go of your ‘schedules’ and your ‘diets’ and your other ‘dos’ and ‘donts’ you otherwise follow, while your are away. Also, don’t forget to keep yourself away from your emails and official phone calls. Taking some time off really helps.
Gleeful Company: Try to spend most of your time, being around people who are happy and high spirited. The company that you stay in, reflects on your mood and temperament. You are more likely feel lively and pleasant, when you be around pleasant, bustling people as opposed to being around perennial whiners.
Pursue a Hobby: Remember, while in school, our summer vacations would give us time to join some hobby classes, learning new things? It may not be as easy a thing to do in today’s fast paced life, but one can always hunt for some weekend/ evening courses. Its never too late to learn a new instrument, or try some new recipes in the kitchen.
Breaking Inhibitions: A lot of times, we tend to let of of things that we really want to do, just coz we are worried about how the people around us would react. We are more bothered about maintaining an image in the eyes of the society. But at times its alright to ‘go with the flow’ and just do it. If you want to speak to a friend, who you had fought with months ago, don’t think twice. Just pick up the phone and call. Don’t let you ego stop you from it. Leave your car behind, pick up a bicycle to fetch stuff from the market. Do anything that makes you happy.
“Trust that little voice in your head that says "Wouldn't it be interesting if….” ; And then do it.”
Pleasure in the little things in life: Watching the train, getting drenched in the rain, writing stuff on a balloon and letting it go in the air, having an orange bar, imli, chuski on a street side, watching the sunrise/ sunset, messing up my hand and face while eating a chocolate…these are some of the little things in life, that can cheer me up at any given point in time. Every has his/her own list like this. Makes yours and follow it.
Follow your heart: Thinking is brain’s core job indeed, but let the heart take over sometimes. Do what you feel like doing, without thinking too much about what may happen as a result of it. Don’t miss out on opportunities coz of your dilemmas. I want to have a chocolate cake, grab a bite. You can increase your daily physical activities a bit to compensate. You want to confess your feelings for a person, just do it. At the max, your feelings would be turned down. But that’s alright. Its still worth it. At least you wont have any regrets when you wake up tomorrow morning.
You don’t have to follow these things all the time. But they can always be resorted to, when you are down and low. They may act as immediate energy boosters for you.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Champagne in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!!
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