One of the top most things in my wish list for a long time was to get a tattoo done. I had never really visualized where I wanted that ink mark to appear or what exactly should it symbolise. All that I wanted was a tattoo. I never wanted it to flaunt it or make me stand out in the crowd, but I just wanted it...for myself, as my possession. And after years of keeping the wish as a “want”, I decided to “have” it. It took me months of self assurance that I can actually endure the pain of needles going in and out of my skin for minutes or even hours. It required a dozen of people to act as an external assurance that it’s going be fine. And finally, a spur of the moment decision that it’s not the pain that I’m embracing, but the actualization one of my ‘dreams’.
I did it or should I say, I survived through it. It is positioned at a place not visible too much and in a language that not everyone understands. But I feel super happy about it, cuz I wanted it and I now I have it. “No Regrets” is what it says, which I always thought, echoed what I felt. But at times like today, I sit back and think, does it stand true in all circumstances in my life. A part of me shouts defensively, ‘Yes’. The other one promptly and very calmly questions back, ‘Is it?’ and throws me in a think pond.
Alright, it’s humanly impossible to “not” regret any of their acts (or so I would like to believe). At some point or the other you do feel the compunction for what you did or said or acted. You do wish to have a Ctrl + Z option available in your life too. You do feel the need for the eraser at the back of your pencil.
I am not perfect. At times I do make mistakes, I do act silly, I do talk non sense, and I do misbehave. But it doesn’t make me a bad person. Because I do not intend bad to anyone, I do not mean to deliberately hurt anyone’s emotions or feelings (psst: unless you’ve been really nasty to me and have actually crossed my patience levels- which is rare). And when I do slip up, I realise it too and try to make conscious efforts to make up for it. I do not feel inferior in accepting my fault and apologising.
Misunderstandings are common. They do not need firm grounds to stand on. Just like water, they can seep into the slightest of gaps in the relationships. But for me, communication is a solution to every problem. Talk it out...your problems, your anxieties, your doubts, your worries, your sadness, your apprehensions! Communication gaps are fatal. Sometimes you lose out on the best of your relationships, just because of this. Parents should have a feel flow of communication with their children, despite the generations gap they have, siblings should share stuff with each other to maintain a healthy relationship, partners should be comfortable enough to share their life with each other, with all the highs and lows and goods and bads.
Coming back to my tattoo- No Regrets...Do I feel I do not justify the essence of having it engraved on my body? Not really! I may want to act differently in the same situation next time. But I do not regret, cuz at that moment it was exactly what I wanted!!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Stop surviving, start LIVING!!
‘I am sad cuz I have no reason to rejoice’
This is how my Gtalk status read just a few days back. I had been terribly down and low due to some reasons. So hence the status, to echo what went inside me. Antithetically, I found myself telling a friend this morning, '"We have so many sad people around us. Why can't people stay happy, like we are? I guess I'd like to modify my status on Gtalk…‘I am sad cuz I have no reason to rejoice…But who needs a reason, I am happy anyways’ :) Wow, feels great to be back to my normal self.
That’s me…the real me! A little crazy, some what naive, lame at times….but all this with the sole intention of staying high on life. I've come to realize that I can not stay gloomy for too long. I don't think I like wasting too much time staying sad, no matter what. You never know what happens tomorrow, how short/ long our life is. The time you have today, will never ever come back. No one knows how the life would unfold and what will happen next. Today is what you have. So why not live it large!!
Whatever has been written in the above paragraph is nothing novel or unique. The internet is flooded by the likes of such statements and ideologies. You get a thousand and one similar motivational reads in the market. So basically there's no special gyaan that this blog brings you. But through this column, what I do try to insist on is, you've read enough, you've thought enough, you've contemplated enough….it’s time you act! Put your learning into practice.
Personally, I do a lot of crazy things, like running down on the opposite escalators, getting a tattoo done, getting my nose pierced and many more which I may not want to mention on this forum ;) And the decision for actually doing such things is just based on how happy that makes me. I may not be able to do such things tomorrow, if I happen to get married in a conservative family. I may not be able to enjoy a cotton candy because my family may not expect me to act so kiddish. I may not be able to learn a new instrument if I get so busy in life tomorrow. So why not fulfill these wishes today, when I CAN afford to do all such things.
In fact, it’s the same reason that I am writing this blog today. Somebody made me realize that I hadn’t been writing for a while, something that I really like doing, and something that I’m pretty decent at (if not good) - {Modesty, thy name is Jeetsu :D} So there it goes.
Before winding up, I have a cheat code for people who are unable to play the game themselves. ‘Have good friends around you, and your life is sorted.’ We have often heard that we cannot choose our friends or relatives, but friends, we certainly can! Make the most of this liberty because it’s very important to have good friends in life to make it worth living. So have a rocking group of friends to inspire you, support you and most importantly stand by you in your thicks and thins.
Kudos to my friends, some of which are also like my guardian angels :)
Remember, life’s what YOU make it, so make it right!
This is how my Gtalk status read just a few days back. I had been terribly down and low due to some reasons. So hence the status, to echo what went inside me. Antithetically, I found myself telling a friend this morning, '"We have so many sad people around us. Why can't people stay happy, like we are? I guess I'd like to modify my status on Gtalk…‘I am sad cuz I have no reason to rejoice…But who needs a reason, I am happy anyways’ :) Wow, feels great to be back to my normal self.
That’s me…the real me! A little crazy, some what naive, lame at times….but all this with the sole intention of staying high on life. I've come to realize that I can not stay gloomy for too long. I don't think I like wasting too much time staying sad, no matter what. You never know what happens tomorrow, how short/ long our life is. The time you have today, will never ever come back. No one knows how the life would unfold and what will happen next. Today is what you have. So why not live it large!!
Whatever has been written in the above paragraph is nothing novel or unique. The internet is flooded by the likes of such statements and ideologies. You get a thousand and one similar motivational reads in the market. So basically there's no special gyaan that this blog brings you. But through this column, what I do try to insist on is, you've read enough, you've thought enough, you've contemplated enough….it’s time you act! Put your learning into practice.
Personally, I do a lot of crazy things, like running down on the opposite escalators, getting a tattoo done, getting my nose pierced and many more which I may not want to mention on this forum ;) And the decision for actually doing such things is just based on how happy that makes me. I may not be able to do such things tomorrow, if I happen to get married in a conservative family. I may not be able to enjoy a cotton candy because my family may not expect me to act so kiddish. I may not be able to learn a new instrument if I get so busy in life tomorrow. So why not fulfill these wishes today, when I CAN afford to do all such things.
In fact, it’s the same reason that I am writing this blog today. Somebody made me realize that I hadn’t been writing for a while, something that I really like doing, and something that I’m pretty decent at (if not good) - {Modesty, thy name is Jeetsu :D} So there it goes.
Before winding up, I have a cheat code for people who are unable to play the game themselves. ‘Have good friends around you, and your life is sorted.’ We have often heard that we cannot choose our friends or relatives, but friends, we certainly can! Make the most of this liberty because it’s very important to have good friends in life to make it worth living. So have a rocking group of friends to inspire you, support you and most importantly stand by you in your thicks and thins.
Kudos to my friends, some of which are also like my guardian angels :)
Remember, life’s what YOU make it, so make it right!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Damsel in Dress or Distress
After studying English literature for 3 years in Delhi University, and staying with people like Saumya Aneja, I had become a loyal preacher of Feminism and Women Liberation. The books I read, the lectures I attended, the teachers I heard and all the brainstorming sessions had all made me look beyond the beliefs which saw women as delicate and venerable part of the society.
We are the women of 21st century, for God’s sake! We are fortunate enough to be born in a democratic and a progressive country, which has given its most powerful position of a President to a woman. Our parents are educated, they’ve sent us to good schools, and we stay around a bunch of well informed people. So things like women empowerment makes more sense to us. Talking of women liberation, we have so many inspirational stories floating. People have a huge amount of content to talk on this subject.
Why go far, I personally, have been propagating it myself. I’ve always stood up against any sexist statements or gender discrimination happening around me. So far, I’ve gone quite strong on the feminist ideas and the belief that nothing can curtail our freedom to act for ourselves.
But the dream of men and women as equal partners in progress is yet to be fully realized I guess. When I look around, I see that people still raise eye brows when a girl across the age of 30 and is not married yet. Or when she decides to enjoy her life before she plans a baby. She still suffers at work in terms of promotions or grabbing responsible positions because she may get married and go away, or plan her family and take a maternity leave. Parents are still apprehensive of letting their daughters move out and make their own living. Late nights/ Night outs are still a taboo in a lot of households. Rape/ Molestation cases are on an ever increasing rate. There are cases registered on an everyday basis for Domestic Abuse/ Violence against women.
What an anti- thesis, isn’t it?
Witnessing cases like this makes me realize that there is still a lot more left. Women liberation in the real sense of the word is still a far fetched dream. Real life is way more than the hi-fi talks we indulge into. The status of a woman in the society still stands questionable, it seems.
But nevertheless, I’m optimistic. The change is gradual for sure and may be a little slow. But it is happening at least. Does it not give us a reason enough to rejoice? :)
We are the women of 21st century, for God’s sake! We are fortunate enough to be born in a democratic and a progressive country, which has given its most powerful position of a President to a woman. Our parents are educated, they’ve sent us to good schools, and we stay around a bunch of well informed people. So things like women empowerment makes more sense to us. Talking of women liberation, we have so many inspirational stories floating. People have a huge amount of content to talk on this subject.
Why go far, I personally, have been propagating it myself. I’ve always stood up against any sexist statements or gender discrimination happening around me. So far, I’ve gone quite strong on the feminist ideas and the belief that nothing can curtail our freedom to act for ourselves.
But the dream of men and women as equal partners in progress is yet to be fully realized I guess. When I look around, I see that people still raise eye brows when a girl across the age of 30 and is not married yet. Or when she decides to enjoy her life before she plans a baby. She still suffers at work in terms of promotions or grabbing responsible positions because she may get married and go away, or plan her family and take a maternity leave. Parents are still apprehensive of letting their daughters move out and make their own living. Late nights/ Night outs are still a taboo in a lot of households. Rape/ Molestation cases are on an ever increasing rate. There are cases registered on an everyday basis for Domestic Abuse/ Violence against women.
What an anti- thesis, isn’t it?
Witnessing cases like this makes me realize that there is still a lot more left. Women liberation in the real sense of the word is still a far fetched dream. Real life is way more than the hi-fi talks we indulge into. The status of a woman in the society still stands questionable, it seems.
But nevertheless, I’m optimistic. The change is gradual for sure and may be a little slow. But it is happening at least. Does it not give us a reason enough to rejoice? :)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Relationship Thesis ;)
‘God determines who walks into your life. It is up to YOU to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let GO!!!’
I read these lines somewhere. On the face of it, it’s just another ‘quote’ or a ‘forward’, the likes of which flood the internet. But try to contemplate it. Isn’t very word of it oh- so- true? It is so easy to “fall in love”, as if you just stood there, doing nothing and a wave of water sweeps you off your feet. It just ‘happens’!! But sustaining a relationship is where the catch is. The inception or the honey moon period of a relationship is certainly very rosy. The experience makes us feel completely alive…every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens.
People take risks, are willing to walk an extra mile to do stuff for the other person, put their rationality aside, lock their brains up and let the heart lead the way. Smile is given a permanent residency and elation carves the path.
But I guess, like everything else in the world, a relationship too follows a life cycle. After sometime, this euphoria starts diminishing, the excitement starts fading away. The other person becomes predictable and starts being taken for granted. The focus starts shifting to the negatives, which had always existed, but were over looked till now. Things like calling every hour, questions like, “Have you had food”, which were considered cute and lovable till now, starts becoming a nuisance. Conversations start becoming sparse. After years of togetherness, I still see people questioning themselves ‘Am I with the right partner?’
At this stage people tend to look behind, reminiscing their initial moments and with the desire to experience it again, they look at moving out. This may be with the intention of experiencing it all over again with probably a new partner. This is where the relationship starts breaking. But what they fail to realize is that every relationship would face this stage where people feel that they've reached a saturation point.
Come to think of it, how can you reach a saturation point in a relationship? Man is such a complicated being, how can to get to know everything about a person in just a few months or even years? For me, I think a complete life time is inadequate. It’s probably that after a certain time, you just stop looking for anything new in your partner. May be you just WANT to believe and take pride in the fact that you know your partner inside out, and thus just refuse to look beyond. Doing that is good until this starts acting detrimental in your relationship.
I remember having a friend in college, who had been dating this girl for 4 years already. One of us once asked him, "Dude, you are with your girl for so many years now. Look about, you study in Delhi University and the campus has so many hot chics around. Don't you ever feel that you've had enough and you need to date other females too?"
His answer to this is something that I can never forget in my life. He says, "I never feel the need to do that. Because every single day I discover something new in Sonal and I fall in love with her all over again."
It's been 3 more years to this conversation, and they are still going strong {touch wood}. Still, every time I when look at their pictures and posts on Facebook, I feel a desperate urge to fall in love and experience what Nitin and Sonal are experiencing.
Thus, I feel, making a relationship work, or putting an end to it lies completely in our hands. It’s for us to keep the spark alive and maintain the magical formula. Please notice the use of words like ‘our’ and ‘us’ in my sentences, which means both the people in the relationship should be actively involved in making things work.
You’ve got to understand that no one on this Earth is perfect. Every one has flaws. The idea is to look beyond these imperfections. If you keep expecting your love to change a person, there is quite a high possibility that all you get at the end is disappointment. You should try and see if you can live with those short comings or no.
Somebody once told me, ’The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.’ Well… Probably!!
Love may start with being a ‘feeling’, but at the end of the day, it’s certainly a ‘decision’… a conscious decision!! :)
I read these lines somewhere. On the face of it, it’s just another ‘quote’ or a ‘forward’, the likes of which flood the internet. But try to contemplate it. Isn’t very word of it oh- so- true? It is so easy to “fall in love”, as if you just stood there, doing nothing and a wave of water sweeps you off your feet. It just ‘happens’!! But sustaining a relationship is where the catch is. The inception or the honey moon period of a relationship is certainly very rosy. The experience makes us feel completely alive…every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens.
People take risks, are willing to walk an extra mile to do stuff for the other person, put their rationality aside, lock their brains up and let the heart lead the way. Smile is given a permanent residency and elation carves the path.
But I guess, like everything else in the world, a relationship too follows a life cycle. After sometime, this euphoria starts diminishing, the excitement starts fading away. The other person becomes predictable and starts being taken for granted. The focus starts shifting to the negatives, which had always existed, but were over looked till now. Things like calling every hour, questions like, “Have you had food”, which were considered cute and lovable till now, starts becoming a nuisance. Conversations start becoming sparse. After years of togetherness, I still see people questioning themselves ‘Am I with the right partner?’
At this stage people tend to look behind, reminiscing their initial moments and with the desire to experience it again, they look at moving out. This may be with the intention of experiencing it all over again with probably a new partner. This is where the relationship starts breaking. But what they fail to realize is that every relationship would face this stage where people feel that they've reached a saturation point.
Come to think of it, how can you reach a saturation point in a relationship? Man is such a complicated being, how can to get to know everything about a person in just a few months or even years? For me, I think a complete life time is inadequate. It’s probably that after a certain time, you just stop looking for anything new in your partner. May be you just WANT to believe and take pride in the fact that you know your partner inside out, and thus just refuse to look beyond. Doing that is good until this starts acting detrimental in your relationship.
I remember having a friend in college, who had been dating this girl for 4 years already. One of us once asked him, "Dude, you are with your girl for so many years now. Look about, you study in Delhi University and the campus has so many hot chics around. Don't you ever feel that you've had enough and you need to date other females too?"
His answer to this is something that I can never forget in my life. He says, "I never feel the need to do that. Because every single day I discover something new in Sonal and I fall in love with her all over again."
It's been 3 more years to this conversation, and they are still going strong {touch wood}. Still, every time I when look at their pictures and posts on Facebook, I feel a desperate urge to fall in love and experience what Nitin and Sonal are experiencing.
Thus, I feel, making a relationship work, or putting an end to it lies completely in our hands. It’s for us to keep the spark alive and maintain the magical formula. Please notice the use of words like ‘our’ and ‘us’ in my sentences, which means both the people in the relationship should be actively involved in making things work.
You’ve got to understand that no one on this Earth is perfect. Every one has flaws. The idea is to look beyond these imperfections. If you keep expecting your love to change a person, there is quite a high possibility that all you get at the end is disappointment. You should try and see if you can live with those short comings or no.
Somebody once told me, ’The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.’ Well… Probably!!
Love may start with being a ‘feeling’, but at the end of the day, it’s certainly a ‘decision’… a conscious decision!! :)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Some serious revelations! :P
Being a part of the “shaadi market“ for a while now, and I have been put through a wringer for one question, by a lot of people around me: “So, what sort of a guy are you looking for?” or “What qualities do you seek in your partner?”. It comes from people starting from the immediate family members, to the prospective guy himself. Ya, don’t be surprised, even the so called prospects ask such things. They probably want to see whether they even stand a chance with me or no ;)
So today, at a friend’s suggestion, I have decided to spill the beans and make this declaration, answering the golden question. So that next time when someone asks me that, I can technologically divert him/ her to this page and satisfy his/ her curiosity pangs!! :P
People (especially the prospects) may be glad to know, that I DO NOT carry a “haves” and “have-nots” check list in my hand. I’ve always believed that when you speak to someone a couple of times, you just ‘get to know’ whether you really want move ahead with it or no. Some people are physio-gnomic, i.e. external looks of a person are the determining factor for them. For me, a conversation with him sends these decision making signals. Looks can be a part of the complete decision making, but trust you me, it is definitely not one of “THE” deciding factor for me (or even close to it).
I do not expect some celestial handsome dude, riding a horse in his shining armor, coming and kneeling in front of me, kissing my hand and proposing me… Psst, I wouldn’t mind the kneeling and proposing part though ;) Some dramatized action is good at times :D
But jokes apart, I don’t expect a perfect Bollywood- style love story packed for me. They only exist in movies, I strongly believe.
I’ve always dreamt of dating a ‘classy’ man. I am a smart ass indeed, to have chosen this one particular word to describe my dream guy, because I believe, in this one term I can encompass all those clinched adjectives, one expects to hear as an answer: Chivalrous, panache, smart (brain wise), courteous etc etc etc :D
I don’t want to compulsorily work. I would want to take up a job for my own leisure, not work to WORK as such!! ;)
I hate driving, so I wouldn't mind being given a chauffeur driven car in case he’s himself not available to drive me around. Neither would I mind being pampered or being a center of all his attention. :D
Though PDAs is a strict no- no for me.
Lolzz
Ok… after this whimsical description, let’s face actualization. I am ok marrying a decent guy, who may not be a millionaire or the like of some DDLJ’s Raj but who may accept me the way I am, and possess the qualities of making it big (or reasonable good) in times to come. That’s just about it! :)
Before I sign off, let me share some quick real time secrets. This may sound stupid, but people making grammatical errors in speech are the biggest turn- off for me. Another one, for a long time now, I have fantasized about my guy proposing me with the Lionel Richie song “Hello, Is it me you’re looking for….” :D
So people reading this blog, with the intention of getting serious answers to those questions, may just refer to the above two paragraphs and pick his own hints.
Cheers!!
So today, at a friend’s suggestion, I have decided to spill the beans and make this declaration, answering the golden question. So that next time when someone asks me that, I can technologically divert him/ her to this page and satisfy his/ her curiosity pangs!! :P
People (especially the prospects) may be glad to know, that I DO NOT carry a “haves” and “have-nots” check list in my hand. I’ve always believed that when you speak to someone a couple of times, you just ‘get to know’ whether you really want move ahead with it or no. Some people are physio-gnomic, i.e. external looks of a person are the determining factor for them. For me, a conversation with him sends these decision making signals. Looks can be a part of the complete decision making, but trust you me, it is definitely not one of “THE” deciding factor for me (or even close to it).
I do not expect some celestial handsome dude, riding a horse in his shining armor, coming and kneeling in front of me, kissing my hand and proposing me… Psst, I wouldn’t mind the kneeling and proposing part though ;) Some dramatized action is good at times :D
But jokes apart, I don’t expect a perfect Bollywood- style love story packed for me. They only exist in movies, I strongly believe.
I’ve always dreamt of dating a ‘classy’ man. I am a smart ass indeed, to have chosen this one particular word to describe my dream guy, because I believe, in this one term I can encompass all those clinched adjectives, one expects to hear as an answer: Chivalrous, panache, smart (brain wise), courteous etc etc etc :D
I don’t want to compulsorily work. I would want to take up a job for my own leisure, not work to WORK as such!! ;)
I hate driving, so I wouldn't mind being given a chauffeur driven car in case he’s himself not available to drive me around. Neither would I mind being pampered or being a center of all his attention. :D
Though PDAs is a strict no- no for me.
Lolzz
Ok… after this whimsical description, let’s face actualization. I am ok marrying a decent guy, who may not be a millionaire or the like of some DDLJ’s Raj but who may accept me the way I am, and possess the qualities of making it big (or reasonable good) in times to come. That’s just about it! :)
Before I sign off, let me share some quick real time secrets. This may sound stupid, but people making grammatical errors in speech are the biggest turn- off for me. Another one, for a long time now, I have fantasized about my guy proposing me with the Lionel Richie song “Hello, Is it me you’re looking for….” :D
So people reading this blog, with the intention of getting serious answers to those questions, may just refer to the above two paragraphs and pick his own hints.
Cheers!!
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